I Choose Peace

I had a rough day yesterday.  It was a good thing I got up early to walk and meditate because I was better prepared for it than I might otherwise have been.  Not to say I didn't have my moments of getting caught up in all the emotion that was flying around, I did, but overall I have to say I did better than I would have a month ago.

Historically, taking criticism hasn't been an easy thing for me.  Mostly because I would take it all in, accept it all as true and feel defeated by the whole interaction.  My own desires to be perfect in the eyes of the world, and in my own eyes, certainly contributed to that.  Other people's perspectives were taken in as completely true without me considering my own perspective on the matter and because of both those things I would never defend myself, or speak my own truth.  That was not the case yesterday.

Yesterday in a series of meetings I was taken to task for various situations that have recently come about.  In many cases I was told how I felt, what I was thinking and what my intentions were by other people.  Before now that would have devastated me because the picture they were creating was not a pleasant one, but it also wasn't accurate from my perspective.  This time I wasn't devastated, I was determined and I think I'm finally beginning to understand the difference between stress and strain.  Through this process I am becoming stronger.  Through this process I am learning the value of considering other perspectives but not just accepting them as true.  Through this process I am learning about myself, what is important to me in the work I do and just exactly who I choose to be in these situations.

Today, I choose peace.  Regardless of what comes my way today I can choose to respond in a peaceful way, which doesn't mean just sitting down and accepting whatever is said, but that when I do speak I come from a place of peace even if I don't agree.  Today I choose to let my love shine for all of the people I work with, even the ones who are sometimes a challenge to love.  I choose a smile over a frown, laughter instead of cynicism, understanding in place of condemnation while remembering that we are all unhappy with the situation before us and the best thing we can do is work to make it better.  I understand who I am and what I am trying to accomplish even if no one else does and today, that is enough.

Oh yeah, another 5:00am walk with my son and some really good meditation time.  I really like doing this.

Love to you all.