It's Just One of Those Days

Today is a challenging day for me.  Today is a day in which I am straddling the line between strain and stress.  That's okay, at least I have that awareness for which I thank Steven Barnes from whom I am learning about the difference between stress and strain and my friend David for bringing Steve's words to my attention.  It is coming in handy.

This is one of those days that I have to be very mindful of the window I choose to view my world. I must remember to breathe consciously, I must be careful where I let my thoughts go...it's all a choice and only I have the power to make it.  Today I am physically challenged with pain and fatigue, emotionally challenged with personal issues that have risen to the surface, socially challenged with very upset and overly stressed people and I have to choose to respond to it all in the best way that I possibly can.  Thank goodness for awareness because without it I would simply be reacting and my reactions probably wouldn't be very good.

I've been thinking about embracing the pain a lot in the last couple of days.  It's difficult to embrace pain, sorrow, fear, and anger.  Much easier to embrace joy, love, peace and happiness, but life is not all about the good things.  I used to think that transcending pain was an issue of attachment, that I just had to let go of my desire for things to be different and all of my angst would just fall away, but that's not enough.  I have to embrace that I have a desire for things to go a certain way and when events don't play out the way I would like sometimes it hurts.  The amount of pain I experience is a direct correlation to how much value I place on the outcome.  A great deal of value can mean a great deal of pain.

So today I am choosing to embrace the fact I hurt in a number of ways, that I am tired (nothing new there), that I am not at my best cognitively and that my first response is probably not the best response.  I am quiet today knowing that I need to reflect before I respond and above all I must be easy on myself and how I feel.  Today isn't a bad day, it's a challenging day and the difference lies in how I choose to respond to the challenges.  Having that awareness means it's going to be a better day than it might have been two weeks ago and that is a blessing for which I am extremely grateful.