This morning during meditation the words to two of my favorite prayers rose into my awareness. The first one Dona Nobis Pacem, Grant us Peace, has become a mantra for me over the years whenever I feel like my world is chaotic and lacking peace. The second is a prayer by St. Francis of Assisi and says "Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where the doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; Where there is sadness, joy. Oh Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console; To be understood, as to understand; To be loved as to love. For it is in giving that we receive; it is in pardoning that we are pardoned.; it is in dying that we are born into eternal life."
Later as I was preparing for my day I turned the words over and over in my head repeating them silently I realized how little of these things I have given myself lately. A prayer is not meant to be a request sent to out to the Universe to be fulfilled. A prayer is a way to go inside and seek these things for ourselves. No one can give me peace, I have to find it within myself. Nor can I give love, understanding, or compassion unless I first am able to give it to myself. These are the gifts we must give ourselves, not in a narcissistic it's all about me way, but in a deeply spiritual manner that is all about loving ourselves so that we give from a place of fullness and not from a place of need.
Life can be overwhelming sometimes for one reason or another. We all need to be able to find peace, tranquility, love and understanding...I know I do. But if I don't take the time to seek it first from myself I will never find it anywhere else. I am reminded of the Wiccan Charge of the Goddess, "And you who seek to know me know that your seeking and yearning shall avail you not unless you know the Mystery; for if that which you seek you find not within yourself you will never find it without. For behold, I have been with you from the beginning and I am that which is attained at the end of desire."
Our wisest, most sacred selves exist within us all. When we can stop functioning on the surface and pay attention to that sacred self we are well on our way to becoming our highest and best selves which is all most people really want anyway. As I move through my own spiritual journey I keep trying to get to the center of myself to find the part of me that is wisest, most tranquil, most peaceful and all knowing. Some days I do better than others, yesterday was a complete disaster. But today is a new day with a new beginning and yesterday can't cloud today. Yesterday is only a dream and tomorrow not a reality. So today I will seek peace, love and understanding from within and I will continue to seek it until it becomes my reality. After all, what better task could I possibly have?
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