Yesterday I went to a memorial service for a very special lady who was a teacher to me. I didn't think of her as a teacher while she was alive, she was just my friend. But as I listened to her oldest and dearest and her children and grandchildren talk about her, I realized how much she had influenced my thinking and my actions. She was my teacher and she taught me about love.
Dian looked for the best in every situation and in every person. Consequently she inhabited a world that was beautiful, happy, and full of possibilities because those were the things she saw all around her. Although she had great concern for the state of the world her optimism never dimmed and her energy to do what she could to improve the state of things didn't wane until her body just couldn't fight anymore. I never heard her utter a negative word about anyone, though she sometimes was troubled by the things people would do, she always gave them the benefit of the doubt. She was full of laughter, quick to smile, and you never doubted that you were loved in her presence.
As I listened to stories shared by her friends and family I realized what an amazing legacy of love she has left behind. Her children are delightful people for whom kindness and caring is as natural as breathing and the stories they shared made me cry, not because I will miss her, but because they were so beautiful and so filled with love. You rarely hear stories like that anymore, it seems we rarely get to experience people like that anymore, though they are out there. She taught her children to be that way through her constant example of love and kindness. You can see her touch on each of their personalities, she lives in each one of them, and talking with them is like finding a jewel of Dian still alive and kicking.
If you go about your life with intention anyone can be a teacher. Dian taught me about the little things one can do to express their love in the world. A great hug, a quick smile, an ability to laugh, gently taking someones arm as you walk, listening, inspiring, and offering advice and insight sometimes gently, sometimes not, and above all service. She was fiercely opinionated and viciously independent and I loved those things about her. Many of the qualities she embodied are qualities I am working to develop in myself and so she is my teacher and will continue to be so.
We don't realize the great capacity we have to leave a legacy of love and goodness in the world. It's so easy to think that things are so far out of control that there is nothing we can do, and when we look at this great big world and all the people in it one can easily feel overwhelmed, understandably so. There's no one thing we can do to change the world immediately, but there are a million tiny things we can do with each person we meet and in every situation that we are in to make a difference. Sometimes all it takes is a smile and an open heart and the possibilities to make a positive impact unfurl around us. If we open our eyes to the teachers we have before us and learn from them we are impacted by them. If we then take what we learn and apply it in the world, we impact others and the gift is passed on.
My friend Dian was a beautiful person and I am so grateful to have known her for the short time that I did. I wish I had known her longer, called her more often, talked with her more and laughed a lot more, but I'm grateful for the time I had. I will remember her hugs, her smiles, her sense of humor and her ability to celebrate when some really long, boring presentation was over with a standing ovation and a giant smile on her face as she would lean down to me and say, "I'm not clapping because I liked it, I'm clapping because it's over!" She made me laugh, lightened my heart and brought me happiness. I will apply her lessons in every aspect of my life and do so with a mental caress in her direction.
I will remember that I have the ability to bring love to the world with my actions. That I create the world I see by the things that I choose to focus on. I am only as helpless to make a positive impact as I believe myself to be. I can love people, be loving to people and still be opinionated and independent. I will remember that sometimes a totally inappropriate comment is exactly what is needed to break the tension. I will remember that there is room for multiple truths all at one time. I will remember the value of a smile, a hug, laughter, a willing ear and a caring heart. I will remember that wherever I go there is a need for love and service, even in the people and places that seem too far gone and I will do what I can to shine a light in those places and in those people. I will remember my friend with love and all that she is for me and I will take her example and carry it on in the world.
I love you Dian and I will miss you so much, but in every loving action you will be there and so you live on in all of us, in all the lives and hearts that you have touched. I'm grateful that my life was graced with your presence. Deus det tibi pacem.
