In December I flew to Northern California to attend a week long conference for work. I was delayed at the airport for 6 hours and while I was there I noticed a woman who had a baby with her. The woman was visibly upset and while I was watching her she put her face in her hands and started to cry. I walked up to her and apologized for intruding but wanted to see if there was anything I could to help.
Her husband had just left her and she had a newborn baby. She was flying home to go live with her parents and she was exhausted, naturally. She couldn't sleep because she was so upset about the breakup and worried about her baby. The baby was colicky and didn't want to be put down so I offered to hold the baby for her so maybe she could close her eyes until it was time for her to board her plane. Surprisingly, she let me hold her little girls and she was able to sleep for a short while before her plane left.
I work at a rape crisis center and more often than not when I go out on a call to provide support to survivors of sexual assault they fall asleep once I get to them. They have been hypervigilant throughout the questioning process with the police, trying to survive the nightmare they are experiencing until they can finally go home and, hopefully, forget for a while. It is only when I get there that they are able to let down and go to sleep. Nothing more is required of me than my presence and my promise that I will keep them safe. It doesn't seem like much, but it helps.
So little is required of us to help other people. Sometimes it's nothing more than being a quiet, safe presence for someone in crisis, listening to someone with compassion, getting a cup of coffee for someone who can't walk, carrying something heavy for someone who is struggling, or holding a baby for an exhausted, stressed mother. It's easy to help, so simple I just can't see not helping people.
I've listened to a lot of criticism and words of warning about going up and offering help to someone I don't even know and many people, my family included, don't understand what it is that drives me to help. Many times, when I tell people what I do they look at me with shocked expressions and wide eyes, shaking their heads and asking, "How can you do that?" My question back to them is how can I not? If it was me, if I survived sexual assault, I would be walking through a nightmare before I reached a place of healing and I know that I would want someone next to me holding my hand the entire way. If I would want that help how can I not offer it?
April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month and is, obviously, a big month in my field. I think it's important to raise awareness around sexual assault and begin a dialogue in our communities about how we can become advocates not just against sexual violence but all forms of violence. It is also important to keep our eyes open and look around at other people so we can really begin to see each other. So often we don't even look at each other and because of that we don't see when people are hurting or are in need. It is my hope that will change, it's not hard to help it's really so simple and if we don't help each other, what hope do we have?
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